The Lake Quinault Derelict Club

 Everyone knows "Nifty."  Ken retired early from Aetna Casualty . . . in fact, he retired five years before he told Aetna about it. Now lives in Port Orchard, WA., where he gardens and plays golf.  Has a unique method of computing handicaps.

A one-legged blind man would have to give
Nifty strokes.

 "Chuck" is a clam
and oyster farmer on Hood Canal.
He doesn't see much
of his friends anymore because the calving season for clams is year-around.
Formally a member
of the Aberdeen
South Side
  Croatian Mafia.
Chuck is often
referred to as the
"Black
Enforcer."

  Erstwhile ringleader of the Derelicts (not by election . . . just
because they meet at his cabin.)  Ken is still pretending to work.  Made his mark in the world one day when he accidentally dropped an ice cube into a glass of beer, and discovered
 "Bud Light".  Alas, Ken was so busy testing his discovery that others took the credit which should rightfully be his.

 Now known as "Prince Andrew" by his inner circle of associates.  Rumor has it he is a
high-ranking guano (Greek Crime Lord,) who made a ton of money smuggling greeting cards into this country in his private airplane. He belongs to a motorcycle gang, cooks rich food, and lives on Mercer Island
next door to a gymnasium.

 Known in many circles as "Lester, Lester, the virgin tester."
Les is now located in Redmond, 
Washington
where he is writing
the great
American novel
about a cross-eyed, fly-tying, whisky-drinking, computer nerd.
Well, it's different.

 When you hear us
 talking about our "mouthpiece," we're talking about Rich.  
He is an attorney in Gresham, Oregon, and
has just about as
many clients serving time as are on parole.
Rich is a fan of the Oregon Ducks . . .
but then, everybody has at least one skeleton in their closet.

"Ole" to his friends . . .
Vern is a
tax consultant in
Ocean Shores,
Washington.
Vern collects
flower pots;
Very large
(old automobiles)
flower pots.
Also serves as
number one henchman for the Derelict's ringleader.

Always called "Leech" by anyone who has met him more than once.  In 1993 Leo took an early retirement from the Tacoma News Tribune. The following year the paper showed its first annual net profit. For recreation, he plays flog (golf backwards.) Listening to him snivel and whine for strokes is pretty pathetic.

The above "bios" were created by our ringleader Ken "Rotgut" Johnson