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Today George Walker Bush was inaugurated as the 43rd president of the United States.  I am sure all of you would like a behind the scenes look at George's big day.  Here's what really happened.

Inaugural Timeline:

8:00 a.m.:  George gets up, showers with dope on a rope, can't decide what to wear.  Should he wear what he slept in or something fancier like his special gold embossed shit kicker boots. 

9:00 a.m.:  Calls Orkin and orders them to debug the White House.

9:15 a.m.:  Calls the Wolf Man and orders new furniture. 

9:30 a.m.:  George's favorite wooden chair with the straps is delivered to the Oval office.  He affectionately refers to it as "old Sparky".

10:00 a.m.:  George sits down to have breakfast with his family.  He has a tall glass of orange juice and sliced fruit topped off by lots of vodka.

10:30 a.m.:  Bush family leaves for Capitol.  The motorcade returns to the hotel.  They forgot George W.

10:45 a.m.:  Three demonstrators ambush the Bush motorcade as it arrives at the Capitol.  The demonstrators are shot dead.

11:00 a. m.:  George W. takes a practice run down the Capitol and falls down the steps.  He rolls down Pennsylvania Avenue.

11:30 a.m.:  Where's George W.?  George W. sits next to the real President of the United States.

12:02 a.m.:  George is sworn in.  He swears he is the President of the United States and Gore isn't.

12:05 a.m.:  George tearfully embraces his Father and whispers, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!".

12:10 p.m.: George gives his address.  1600 Pencilvania Avenue.
The Queen of Korn